


The Concept Of Boys Loving Boys

by vivapinatawiki



Series: Picked Apart and Come Undone [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 09:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivapinatawiki/pseuds/vivapinatawiki
Summary: “So… boys can hold hands? And kiss? And they can go on dates? They can live with each other without getting married? Men can have… feelings for other men?”“Yes, Jane.” He said, starting to laugh a bit, relieved that this seemed to finally be sinking in. “Yes, we can.”





	The Concept Of Boys Loving Boys

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came to be because it was something I was briefly going to elaborate on in the final chapter of "Picked Apart and Come Undone". However, it ran on a bit long, so I made it a oneshot that takes place in the same fic!
> 
> There's also a shameful lack of Magic Missiles fics to be found anywhere, so I wanted to add to it.

Soldier couldn’t say he was the brightest bulb, but he could tell when the people he cared about had changed their tact towards him.

Engineer, he could tell, was disappointed in him. Ever since Dell had admitted to the team he was in a relationship with Spy, _their_ own relationship had changed. Medic and Sniper had told everyone they were together as well, and the concept made Soldier’s brain melt into intangible mush. He hadn’t been able to wrap his head around it.

“But! Men can’t love men!” He’d exclaimed, a little loudly than he’d intended to. “Men can only love women! That’s the_ American_ way!” 

Most of them had just accepted the fact that he was likely entrenched in Midwestern American ideals and not brought it up again. However, Engineer had taken it to heart a little more than he’d expected to. He and Soldier always had a strange sort of friendship, _a kinship_, Soldier described it as, from both of them being _red-blooded Americans_. To have this matter cause a rift between them had… hurt. He’d not exactly acted angry or upset towards Soldier in any obvious ways, but Jane noted that the normally warm and open man had grown distant. His trust in him had been tested.

After thinking on it good long while, Soldier had approached Engineer in the rec room of the location they were currently stationed at. Engie acknowledged him with a nod, but kept on working. Jane felt tense. It felt more like they’d gone back to simply being colleagues again. 

“Dell.” He said, softly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“… You and Spy.” Soldier said, after a long pause. “Sniper, and Medic…”

Dell gave a patient smile. “What about us, Jane?”

“Are you going to get married?” He asked, lifting his helmet up so he could look Dell in the eyes. “Are Medic and Sniper going to get married?”

Engineer had to hold back on choking on the coffee he’d been drinking. After setting it down, and mopping up a bit of the liquid that had spilt on to his shirt, he spoke. “Shucks, Soldier, I didn’t expect that. Uh…” He gave a nervous laugh. “No, Jane, coz men can’t get married legally. Even if we could, I’m not sure me’n Spy would… as for Medic and Sniper, you’d have to ask them.”

“But… I don’t get it… if you can’t get married…” He scratched the top of his helmet. “Then why…?”

“Well. Do a man and a woman have to get married for them to be in love?”

“… You don’t have to get married if you’re in love?” Soldier asked, looking completely amazed. “But then, you can’t make babies if you’re not married…!”

Dell stared. Soldier’s expression showed no malice, but simple confusion, childlike and unsure, trying to take Engineer’s words into account when he’d been told otherwise all his life. There was a lot of work to do. Soldier, bless his soul, would have to have it explained to him step by step.

Engineer had talked, explained the birds and the bees (which, Soldier seemed to already be aware of, so how simple facts about life like this hadn’t been internalized confused him, greatly). They’d talked about the traditional family unit, and how not all families were like that. How men could love men, women could love women. How dating and falling in love didn’t have to lead to marriage or kids. He’d been debating telling Jane about the concept of bisexuality, but that might have been a little too much to take in.

“So… boys can hold hands? And kiss? And they can go on dates?” He looked a little excited, now that he was starting to grasp it. “They can live with each other without getting married? Men can have… _feelings_ for other men?”

“Yes, Jane.” He said, starting to laugh a bit, relieved that this seemed to finally be sinking in. “Yes, we can.”

There was another long pause where Soldier’s own smile slowly faded. He looked out the nearest window, deep in thought (which could sometimes prove to be rather dangerous).

“Jane?” Dell called, softly, patting his shoulder, worried he might have been slipping away.

“I…” He inhaled, deeply. “I need to make a phone call.”

“Wait—Jane, who are you…?” He trailed off. Shaking his head, he decided it’d be best to wait for him to come back and explain himself when he was ready to.

An explanation came a little later; not in the form of Soldier, however, who he hadn’t seen for at least an hour after he’d retreated from the rec room.

“Dell.”

Engineer looked up. “Oh, hey Spook.” He noticed the man’s expression, giving a small grin at his smirk. “What’s so funny?”

“I take it you explained things to Jane?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” His grin didn’t falter, but he couldn’t help the slight concern he felt at those words.

“I was just taking a call”. He began, clearing his throat to try and compose himself, clearly on the verge of erupting into laughter. “And our good friend Soldier bursts in. With the man breathing down my neck, I had to hang up. So, once he thinks I’m gone, he dials, the phone rings…” Spy cleared his throat, putting on his best impression of the Soldier (which was, of course, near perfect) and mimicked holding up a telephone. “Merasmus! Engineer told me that men can be in love with other men. And they don’t even have to get married! By the way, I think I’m in love with you, and—hello, Merasmus?”

Engineer looked horrified as Spy continued laughing, admittedly rather cruel of him considering Soldier’s predicament. “Oh, that poor son of a gun. Oh, no.” Dell jumped up. “_What have I done?” _

“Whatever you have done, the outcome is sure to be hilarious!”

Before Engineer could berate him for finding this situation as funny as he did, Scout rushed in, out of breath.

“GUYS. That creepy wizard guy who hates Soldier is outside!”

* * *

Merasmus had attempted to get on with his day, but the things Soldier had shouted down the phone were proving difficult to shake off. There were a few possibilities as to what had caused that sudden admission. He thought Soldier was either trying to mess with him, or had gotten a concussion from one too many thwacks to the head with his own shovel, triggering something from the brain damage to make him think that he LOVED Merasmus as opposed to HATED him.

The latter was more reasonable than the former. The third possibility that he didn’t even want to entertain was that he’d been genuine.

Merasmus had settled on the first idea, because it made him angriest and anger was easier to deal with. He couldn’t work out why the idea of Soldier tricking him by pretending to be in love with him had gotten his blood boiling but… it had. The next thing he’d knew he was outside the RED base, teleporting from Teufort without even really thinking about it first.

“YOU SAY YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MERASMUS?” He boomed, his voice carrying though the once quiet forest that surrounded their base, causing a flock of birds to shoot up out of the trees in alarm. “What TRICKERY is this?”

“No trick!” Soldier replied, stood opposite him with the entire team of REDs stood a short distance away, called upon by Dell to act as backup. “I got you these!” Jane reached out, thrusting out a cluster of weeds that still had a clump of dirt attached to the bottom of them. “I don’t know what they are, but you kinda gave me a short window of time to get you a gift.”

“Do not come near me with those!” Merasmus spat, recoiling with an expression of disgust. “Explain yourself! I do not understand your sudden… change of heart.”  
  
“The heart makes its own rules!” He said. “Plus, I told you, already! Engineer taught me than men can be in love with other men! And I realized that those weird fluttery feelings I get around you wasn’t heart palpitations, it was love!”

“I-it very likely _was_ heart palpitations!” Merasmus retorted, stammering in spite of trying to keep his composure. The large ears that protruded from his veiled face turned red. “You stole everything I put into my medicine cabinet!”

“Erm. Engineer.” Dell heard the voice of the Medic in his ear. “What is happening here, exactly?”

“Why ain’t we beating the snot outta this wizard?” Scout piped up.

“Why has he come here in July rather than October?” Spy questioned.

“Did Jane just say ‘e was in love with the bleedin’ devil that took me eye?!” Demo protested.

“Lotta good questions, I’ll answer ‘em in time.” Engineer turned to face the crowd. “Looks like I called us all out here for nothin’. You go about your business fellas.” He turned to give Soldier one last look, ushering the seven other mercenaries inside, planning to linger to make sure things didn’t go south. “Uh, Soldier. I’ll be inside if ya… need anything.”

Jane gave him a thumbs up.

“Soldier. Focus.” Merasmus said, clearly running out of patience.

“Of course.” Removing the helmet, he rested it under an arm, looking up at the wizard with an intense stare to indicate that he was, indeed, focused. “What did you want to ask, Merasmus?”

“You are telling the truth when you say you…_ love_ Merasmus?” He asked, almost unable to finish that sentence. Now that he could see Jane’s face, talking about this subject had become a lot more difficult.

“Yes!” Soldier gave a stiff nod.

“Are you saying that you… wish to _court_ Merasmus?”

“Well, I don’t think a court would let us get married even if you do kinda look like a girl-!”

The wizard’s eyes glowed green as his temper flared, but then faded back to their usual hue as he attempted to remain calm. “I meant you are trying to _woo _me? Win me over? Get me to want to date you, Jane?”

“Oh. Yeah!” Soldier said, grinning toothily up at the man. “Is it working?”

“No.” Merasmus remarked, folding his arms. “Your brutish attempts at courtship are doing nothing to sway me.”

“Oh.” Soldier looked somewhat put out by that. After a moment, he seemed to bounce back, looking up at him with a new sort of determination in his demeanour. “Okay, that’s fine. Clearly, I’m going about it the wrong way.”

“You think?” Merasmus retorted, sarcastically.

“I’ll have to try harder!” He insisted. “Get you flowers you actually like, instead of old weeds. Roses? No! Uh--! Bloodroots! You use them in your potion making a lot but you said that you like to display them in your house sometimes. And also, not to eat them again.”

“You… remembered that?”

“Yes. I will go out, and find some for you!” Soldier looked as though he was about to set off right that minute, only brought to a stop when Merasmus tugged him back with the hooked cane he kept on his person at all times. Lifting him to eye level, Soldier remained suspended, dangling by the belt and giving Merasmus a slightly surprised look of his own.

“You don’t have to do that, Jane.” Merasmus muttered. “You’ll just end up getting lost and then I’d never get my flowers at all.”

“Oh, okay.” Jane gave him a smile again, dopey and genuine as he always was. “I’ll get you something, though! Something that’ll knock your frilly wizard socks off!”

Meramus put him down (with uncharacteristic gentleness), and remained quiet, watching him and seeming to ponder what his next steps should be. “Alright, Soldier.” He straightened up, clearing his throat, raising his voice once again. “You have proved to me that you are serious when you say that you wish to romance Merasmus. I cannot say I quite understand the mortal concept of… dating. However!” He swung his staff, not to cast any spell, but just to look cool. “I am… willing to, erm...” He faltered, his face starting to flood with colour. “Hear you out. Humour you, if you will. If you wish to continue your attempts, I suppose that I cannot stop you.”

“Yeah, you can’t stop this hot blooded American heart beating for you, baby!” Soldier cried, puffing his chest out and beating against it with a fist.

“I think I would prefer you trying to get on my good side, at least.” Merasmus said, and the smile in his voice was very apparent. “Anyway, now that we’ve settled that--!”

“Oh, are you leaving?” Soldier asked. “You just got here! It’s a long trip from Teufort.”

“Well, yes, but… I’m not supposed to be here until Halloween.”

“Yeah, you came all the way out here when I told you I was in love with you! I didn’t expect that!” Soldier was honest when he said that, too. “A phone call would have done just fine, you know.”

“Well, anyway!” Merasmus wasn’t about to offer any sort of answer to that, because he knew Soldier was correct. He’d certainly jumped the gun, acting on pure emotion when teleporting all the way across the country. “Think over better ways of courting me, Soldier, your past attempts were lacking any forethought. Merasmus deserves to be wooed in the most ROMANTIC of ways, and he expects nothing but the best!”

“I give nothing but 110%, cupcake!” Soldier said. “Can I have a kiss before you head out?”

“What? NO!” Merasmus backed up, squawking and nearly tripping over his robes as he attempted to escape the steadily approaching man. “NO, it’s too SOON.” With a flash of green light, Merasmus teleported away, only reaching the other side of the wire fence that separated the RED base from trespassers in the nearby town stumbling upon it.

Soldier made his way to the fence, leaning against it and placing a hand on the diamond shaped wiring. “See you in October, sweetheart!”

Once he was sure that the wizard had left for real, Engineer stepped away, heading back into the base with a small, amused shake of the head. He couldn’t quite believe it. There were many conflicting thoughts that entered his mind, but the fact that the wizard hadn’t struck Soldier down the moment they met was probably indication enough.

Soldier caught up to him. “Dell!”

“Hey, Jane. How’d it go?” He asked, acting as though he hadn’t been listening in the whole time.

“Good! I got a date this Halloween!” Soldier reached and put an arm around the man, squeezing him in a side hug. “It’s all thanks to you, pal!”

Engineer wasn’t sure how he felt about being accredited to it… but if his friend was happy, he supposed that’s all that mattered.

_Halloween this year would certainly be interesting…_


End file.
